


like i need u

by calicoco



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Break Up, Emotional Hurt, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, Hurt Kageyama Tobio, Hurt No Comfort, I apologize in advance, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, Kinda, M/M, Post-Break Up, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, nishinoya is trying to be a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:01:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29449722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calicoco/pseuds/calicoco
Summary: What happens when bronze is submerged into the deep blue ocean?A one shot where Hinata and Kageyama meet, date, break the bed and break up.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	like i need u

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Lunar New Year and Valentine's Day everyone! This is my (terrible) gift to you, but I hope anyone reading this has a happy, healthy and lucky year\\(★ω★)/  
> Btw this story goes with the song 'like i need u' by keshi. Yes, I am a keshi simp. Yes, that is the reason why I did this.

_ -We're better on our own, Tonight I'm gettin' throwed-  _

Hinata readjusts his grip on his phone as he hears the tentative raps on the door. He’s already anticipating them but the dread that washes over him is still present. Over the course of a couple weeks he’s become more and more on edge and the continuous agitation is something he’s gotten used to. 

“Is that him?” questions Nishinoya.

A bitter taste invades Hinata’s mouth and the prickling on his skin only increases as the seconds tick by. 

“Yeah, it is,” he confirms curtly. 

The sigh of pity that comes from Nishinoya’s end of line vexes him. In fact, everybody started tiptoeing around him and speaking to him in stifled or hesitant voices. As if he’s a glass doll that’s about to break. 

No.

He isn’t going to break. He  _ can’t _ . Hinata needs to keep his ground and hold on to the delicate strands that are barely keeping him together. 

Each time they speak to him in the sickeningly subdued tone, they’re worsening the fracture from two weeks ago. Soft touches and considerate voices are what pierce through his heart like spears. They run through him until he has to lock himself in the dark bathroom and muffle his cries from his own self. He bites into his hand as burning hot tears streak his face. This goes on for hours until he’s too weak to get up and just collapses onto the tiled floor. When the morning comes, his hair is disheveled, his eyes are swollen red and his skin is somber and lifeless. 

Annoyance towards Nishinoya surges through him. This was Hinata’s choice that he had made himself. Deep down, he knows that he shouldn’t be spiteful towards his friend for being sympathetic and Hinata is truly grateful that someone is concerned about his well being. But what Nishinoya says next makes him seize up.

“Hinata you’ve…” Nishinoya trails off but eventually continues, “You’ve been with him for so long, do you really even  _ want this? _ Have you tried talking with him? All the time and effort that you’ve put into this relationship-”

“Noya, shut the fuck up,” hisses Hinata and he hears the other’s breath hitch.

“You really think that little of me? Do you think that you know more about this than me? Do you?! Because if so, please enlighten me, hm? I know about all the fucking time and effort that was put into this relationship because it was  _ mine _ . I’ve spent years of talking it out, trying to understand all that bullshit and I’m sick and tired of it.” The fresh tears that are cascading down his face fall onto his jeans and stain the spots where they’ve landed a dark blue. He runs his free hand roughly through his hair and lets out a choked sob. “I-I’ve tried so,  _ so damn hard,  _ Noya. I love him too much to just let him go without a reason. For the last four years, I looked for reasons to stay and for solutions to fix our problems. I can’t keep doing this. Loving him is killing me.”

When he finishes, he scrubs his stinging eyelids with a trembling fist. The rawness of his skin and the salt from the tears makes him hiss at the irritation.

He can clearly picture the bewildered look on his friend’s face. 

He’s insulted and hurt by the sheer fact that Nishinoya even dared to question his role in the failed relationship. All he’s ever done was try to preserve the remnants of tenderness and devotion. 

There’s another set of knocks that remind him of the current situation he’s in. 

“I need to go, Noya. Bye.”

“Hina-” Nishinoya starts but is cut off by Hinata hanging up. 

Casting his phone onto the kitchen table, he cradles his head between both hands and pulls at his strands of orange hair. 

As he pressed his palms on his eyes in hopes of calming the swelling, he braced himself before opening the door. 

The coolness from the stainless steel doorknob seeps through the pads of his fingers when he twists it open. 

Cerulean eyes and disarranged inky black hair is the sight that Hinata takes in. His throat feels like it’s closing up despite the fact that he's lost himself in this very same face countless times. 

Ghostly whispers of intimate touches, saturday mornings spent in ruffled bed sheets and days of wine and roses skim across his memory. Pushing them back, he inhales sharply. 

“Kageyama,” Hinata nods. 

  
  
  


_ -Pray that I won't be alone- _

  
  
  


_ “Babe? Babe look, the new bed frame came in!” Hinata exclaimed. He scurried to the door where a huge box laid on the floor.  _

_ Still on the couch clad in gym shorts and a hoodie, Kageyama turned his head to face his excited boyfriend.  _

_ He let out a small breath of relief, “Finally, we ordered that ages ago.”  _

_ A few months ago they had broken their previous bed frame due to, ahem, recreational activities. After a noise complaint from their neighbours and the fright of their lives, Kageyama surfed the internet with a blushing Hinata to find a replacement.  _

_ “Huh, this… doesn’t seem too complicated,” Hinata mumbled as he surveyed the instruction manual.  _

_ Coming up from behind, Kageyama wrapped his arms around the other man and nuzzled into his tangerine coloured hair. He inhaled the sweet scent and tilted their bodies back to lean on the counter.  _

_ “I wouldn’t say that. Remember when you tried to set up the espresso machine last week? You said the exact same thing,” smirked Kageyama.  _

_ Hinata twisted out of Kageyama’s ridiculously strong grip and swatted him on the arm.  _

_ “Shut up,” he groaned. “Come on, let’s get this set up so we don’t have to do it tonight.”  _

_ Kageyama huffed but followed behind Hinata regardless. _

_ Neither of them were exceptionally good at putting together random pieces of furniture, but Hinata was just a different level of incompetent. Even though the screwdrivers and bolts seemed harmless, Kageyama couldn’t help but feel anxious as he cautiously eyed the other who was nonchalantly spreading out the materials.  _

_ By some miracle, they finished up in about an hour with nobody ending up in the hospital.  _

_ Flopping onto the newly made bed, Hinata let out a pleased sound. “Isn’t this nice Kageyama? No more sleeping on a mattress that’s on the floor. This must be what rich people feel like.” Beaming, he stretched out his limbs across the sheets.  _

_ Kageyama let out a snicker. “You do realize we had a bed frame before this one, right?” _

_ Hinata sensed the surface dipping from the side where Kageyama crawled to lay next to him. He reached behind himself to pull Kageyama’s forearm to his chest and Kageyama threw his strong leg over Hinata’s slender waist in return.  _

_ Head spinning, Hinata couldn’t imagine being in this position with anyone else. The love he felt for his boyfriend was so immense that it terrified him sometimes. Every inch of him adored the other so profoundly, but it was when he caught glimpses of him when he was asleep that his heart would swell the most. Kageyama’s onyx hair would be splayed across the pillow, his features soft and delicate and his body being curled towards Hinata's hold was something that was so purely innocent yet so private. It was knowing that only he got to see Kageyama in such a vulnerable state that made him feel so lucky.  _

_ “Mmmmm, are you happy?” Kageyama murmured into the shell of Hinata’s ear.  _

_ “Yea, I am,” Hinata breathed out.  _

_ “Then I’m happy too,” Kageyama replied while he peppered Hinata’s hair and cheek with butterfly kisses.  _

_ “Ah, that tickles.” _

_ “Does it?” _

_ Kageyama seized Hinata’s waist and flipped them over so that Hinata was beneath him. Their legs were tangled together and the tips of their noses were barely touching. _

_ “What about now?” Kageyama whispered hotly onto his lips.  _

_ Hinata’s brain was spinning and thinking straight was becoming a progressively difficult task.  _

_ “I…” _

_ Kageyama didn’t let him finish as he surged towards him for a kiss.  _

_ “Shoyou, Shoyou…” hummed Kageyama into Hinata’s mouth.  _

_ Hinata let out a whimper and licked his lips before speaking.  _

_ “Yeah?” he asked weakly. _

_ Kageyama buried his face into Hinata’s neck and started mouthing at the juncture. Pure bliss flushed over Hinata and he threw his head backwards to grant Kageyama more access.  _

_ “What do you want?” _

_ Hinata gripped the sheets feebly and panted. “I- ah- I want you.”  _

_ After pressing one last kiss to Hinata’s clavicle he moved upwards to meet the dusky eyes of his partner.  _

_ “Okay.” _

  
  
  


__ __ __ __ _ -Faded, I'm a wreck, Afraid what's comin' next- _

  
  
  


The hardened expression on Kageyama’s face visibly softens when his gaze shifts from the ground to Hinata. 

Moving out of the way so that Kageyama could enter the apartment, Hinata gathers all of his mental strength so that he can speak. 

“I uh, I left all of your stuff in the bedroom. It felt wrong just dumping it into a box, so yeah…” he whispers, unable to look anywhere else other than his feet. 

Kageyama peered at him through his fringe.

“Okay,” he answers softly. 

Hinata slightly raises his head at the tender tone. He had been expecting a cold interaction with icy stares, not... this. Kageyama was always hard to read, but as they stood facing each other in the kitchen that they used to share for four years, he seemed shadowed with concern. 

“Okay,” Hinata repeats. He shifts uncomfortable from side to side and wrings his fingers together. “Take your time, I guess-”

He abruptly stops talking when he feels a firm hand raise his chin. Breathing in unsteadily, he gives in and makes eye contact with Kageyama for the first time. Distress was painted all over his face with a tinge of insecurity. 

“Were you crying?” 

“Yeah, I was,” Hinata says stiffly. Stepping out of Kageyama’s range, he sees the other’s hand fall back down flimsily. 

Kageyama’s stride falters when moving forward and he tries again, “Ba- Hinata, I’m-” 

“You’re what? You’re sorry?” Hinata laughs hollowly. “That doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. You can’t just touch me like that Kageyama. I’m not yours anymore.” 

His cheeks are wet for the hundredth time that day and he doesn’t even bother to swipe them dry anymore. He sees the hurt that flickers through Kageyama but tries to ignore it. He rubs his hand tiredly over his face and crouches down to the ground. He’s starting to break again and it’s much too agonizing to bear. He’s so ashamed that seeing Kageyama’s face was enough to send him to hysterics. 

_ I didn’t mean it, I still want to be yours. I know you’re sorry...I’m sorry too.  _

“Just...just get your things and leave Kageyama,” he weeps. He can feel the blood rushing to his face and Kageyama’s helpless stare on his pathetic figure. 

Since the breakup, he’s lost quite a bit of weight so he figures he must look horrible and sickly compared to the last time he saw Kageyama in person. 

The quiet footsteps leading to the bedroom fade, and Hinata rocks himself back and forth while swallowing his cries to mute them.

He doesn’t want to let go. 

_ “I’m sorry Hinata.”  _ echoes repeatedly in his head. 

  
  
  


_ -Layin' on the bed, Waitin' for your text Babe, there's nothin' left- _

  
  
  


_ Hinata was sitting at the kitchen table with his head resting on his arms and a heavy feeling weighing down in his stomach. He looked at his phone clock and sighed when he saw that it was already ten p.m. The dinner he had made a few hours ago was already cold and a sorrowful silence was blaring through the room.  _

_ He sighed and checked his phone again for a missed call or at least a text from Kageyama.  _

_ Nothing.  _

_ Just as he put his phone down, he heard the door unlock paired with the sound of tired trudging. When Kageyama turned the corner into the kitchen, he was greeted by the sight of Hinata slouching against his chair sporting a cast down look.  _

_ Their eyes didn’t meet.  _

_ “I made you dinner,” Hinata voiced.  _

_ Kageyama looked down at the bowl of rice and the little side dishes scattered across the table. “I see that.”  _

_ “It’s cold.”  _

_ “Yeah, well you should’ve waited until I came home.” _

_ Anger shook Hinata as he pointed his blazing eyes towards Kageyama. “You’re late again.” _

_ Putting his bag down, he shot a look just as fierce in return. “It’s the time I always come home. It’s nothing new, Hinata.” _

_ Hinata’s mouth gaped open, the words coming out of his boyfriend’s mouth struck a nerve. For months, nearly a year now, Kageyama had been immersed in his new job and as a result he became distant. Nights of going out with his colleagues to make a name for himself and gain social traction at the office had left Hinata eating dinner and going to bed alone. The cold sheets would bunch up at his legs when he curled in on himself to keep warm. He only saw Kageyama in the mornings, and it would be when he woke up to the sound of him brushing his teeth. During the weekends, Hinata would try to coax Kageyama to go out with him or at least get out of bed, but he was so exhausted from working that all he could do was sleep. At noon, Kageyama would take out his laptop to get ahead on his future projects and office duties.  _

_ Kageyama would insist that the wearying cycle would end, and that he only had to awe his seniors until he was respected. _

_ Hinata was standing up from his seat now, with his fists clenched by his side.  _

_ “Exactly. You’ve been coming home late everyday for the past year, Kageyama,” he takes in a constricted breath. “You work and work until you have to sleep during the weekends and then you work again. It never fucking ends.” _

_ Kageyama’s mouth was pressed into a tight line and his body stiffened. He crossed his arm and narrowed his eyes towards Hinata.  _

_ “I’m working to support us. To support you. I’m the only one who makes a decent earning and if you ever want to move out of this shitty apartment, then I have to get this promotion,” he snapped back harshly.  _

_ Kageyama’s words were true, Hinata worked full time but only received minimum wage from coaching children’s volleyball. However, that didn’t make his blunt statement sting any less. Hinata flinched back at the jab and Kageyama’s eyes immediately widened with realization and regret. _

_ “Is that what you really think? That I’m just a burden who’s useless? You think that you have to work yourself to the bone to take care of me?!” Hinata’s lips trembled as he spoke. He could see Kageyama holding himself back from stepping towards him, perhaps out of fear.  _

_ “No I’m-” _

_ “Don’t you dare cut me off,” Hinata growled, and he proceeded to corner Kageyama by the sink. “If you aren’t happy with our life right now then just leave,” he spits out poisonously.  _

_ He had enough of waiting helplessly like some pet for Kageyama to return home. There had been a void filled with tension and torment between them for longer than he had thought. Hinata had started breaking a long time ago without even realizing it. _

_ Kageyama was looking down at his hands, which were clasped tightly around each other. He looked riddled with guilt and shame, and his shoulders were slumped downwards to make himself seem smaller.  _

_ “I’m sorry, Hinata, I’m so, so sorry,” he whispered shakily.  _

_ Hinata just scoffs, “No, you’re not. Why are you doing this to me?” _

_ At that, Kageyama faced Hinata directly with tired eyes. “I- I don’t know…” _

_ Stumbling backwards, Hinata curses his stupidity. Did Kageyama even want to be with him anymore? He couldn’t even spare Hinata the time of day because of work. Did he not love Hinata enough to realize how much pain he was in? God, did he love him at all?  _

_ The realization made his knees buckle underneath him, and he held out his arm to support himself on the table.  _

_ Kageyama quickly rushed towards Hinata to help him stay up, he wrapped his arms around his torso and guided them to the ground.  _

_ The familiar scent of Kageyama, bergamot and warm vanilla, was something he hadn’t smelled in what seemed like an eternity. The fragrance that Hinata had longed for was what finally made him burst into sudden sobs. His body shook violently in Kageyama’s hold and he could feel Kageyama quiver from above him.  _

_ “Wh-why are you hurting me like this?” he breathed erratically.  _

_ “I’m sorry.”  _

_ Those same words. The very same meaningless words.  _

_ Hearing them only made Hinata wail harder. He could vaguely make out Kageyama lightly stroking his hair and pressing soft pecks on his temple. They were meant as comfort, but only made him feel even more furious.  _

_ “You’re breaking me, you only ever make me c-cry,” Hinata argued, weakly pounding his fists against Kageyama’s chest. He was crying too now, tears trickling silently onto his cheeks.  _

_ Kageyama only held on tighter.  _

_ I’m sorry. _

_ I love you.  _

_ I’m so sorry.  _

  
  
  


_ -Layin' us to rest- _

  
  
  


“Hinata.” comes a faint voice. 

Hinata looks up from where he’s laying on the ground, and Kageyama stands over with a box containing a considerable amount of his belongings. 

_ It’s over. _

Squeezing his eyes shut only to open them again, he quietly rises back up to his feet to meet Kageyama at eye level. 

Continuous arguments and minimal interactions are what finally broke them. They would fight, throw venomous words at each other, makeup and repeat. Whenever they would fuck, it was just a useless bandaid they would put on in a pathetic attempt to heal a massive wound. Naivety from pointless affection, intimacy and attachment, blinded them to no end. 

Hinata gulps down the ball in his throat to say something,  _ anything _ . 

“So I guess this is it.”

“Yeah,” Kageyama replies, dejected.

That night, after drowning his sorrows with alcohol, Hinata completely breaks down when he walks into his room and lays his eyes on the mahogany bed frame. 

Hinata finally shatters.

  
  
  


_ -Wish we never met- _

  
  
  


_ The coffee shop was packed with stressed, hungry and tired university students, and Hinata was one of them. The rich scent of the shop and the bright lighting made him wince from being so overwhelming in the early morning.  _

_ Grabbing his latte from the pickup counter, he quickly turned around to rush to class. His professor was a bitter son of a bitch who was angry at life, and Hinata was already on thin ice from being late once that semester.  _

_ Unsurprisingly, with his shitty luck, he face planted into a sturdy chest and dropped his book bag right onto the sticky floor.  _

_ “Hey-” _

_ “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going and-” _

_ The hand that belonged to the body reached down to scoop the black bag from the ground and hand it back to Hinata who was tinted a bright crimson.  _

_ Reaching out to reclaim his tote, Hinata raised his head to thank the unfamiliar stranger. _

_ “Thank you so much, um, sorry I don’t know your na-”  _

_ “It’s Kageyama,” the other boy said breathlessly. _

_ Hazel eyes met sapphire ones, and worlds collided.  _

**Author's Note:**

> ...soooo... *laughs nervously* I'M SO SORRY. I appreciate and thank you for reading this though. MWAH


End file.
